Thursday, November 11, 2010

I have this thing about writing what ever it is that is on my heart at the moment, and this one is no different. So gentlemen, consider yourselves warned, this one is for the ladies…not that you can’t read it, it’s just geared more towards the females, who knows, you might learn something!
I don’t know why I am writing about love, I guess it’s just something that has been on my mind lately, and I don’t have an answer as to why that is. It seems that as girls we are programmed practically from birth to start thinking about that day when we find “our other half,” the person we were created to spend forever with, I mean, what girl doesn’t fanaticize about how she will meet her “knight in shining armor”? Go ahead, admit it, we’ve all done it, we’ve all dreamt of how our wedding will play out, what our wedding shower will look like, it just seems to be innate in every girl, something guys will never understand. Let’s face it, love is a confusing thing for everyone….even us ladies. It’s been said that falling in love is not finding the perfect person, but it is learning to love an imperfect person. And this is true, because no one is perfect, not even “prince charming.”
I guess this topic has been on my mind a lot lately because I have recently come to the realization that I am now, by law, considered to be an adult. Well I’ve known that, but it just hit home a few days ago for some reason. I have realized that the day that we all dream of is no longer impossible for me, that if I were to fall in love with someone, and we decided we wanted to get married, there really is no stopping us. And that thought, to be quite honest, is a bit overwhelming, in fact, I’ll go ahead and admit that it almost literally scares the crap out of me, because I still feel so much like a child. The thought of growing up and having the responsibilities that come with that in general scares me. I suppose you could call me somewhat of a hopeless romantic, but hey, I don’t care, because that is who I am, that is who God created me to be.

But, as there is with all things, love can have its downsides, it has its own “dark side” to it. Think back to when we were little, remember how many “crushes” you had? Well they were just that…CRUSHES. You would “fall in love” with a certain boy one day, only to find out the next day, that he liked this other girl, or maybe he would say something mean, something that made you cry, and you would be crushed. Well that’s the downside to love. Now I am not saying that love is a bad thing…that is not at all what my point is! I’m just attempting to enlighten you somewhat on the subject.
Now we’ve all seen those romantic movies, where a girl falls in love with this guy, and vice versa, and everything plays out so smoothly, so perfect, and the happy couple lives happily ever after, then we think to ourselves, “if only loving someone was truly like that, then life would be perfect.” Well friend, we all know reality doesn’t play out that way, relationships with people in general have their ups and downs, their good days and their bad. The best book I have read so far on the topic of dating, and relationships in general would have to be “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris. Where he talks about the pit falls of dating in general, and about looking at the idea of dating from the viewpoint of commitment, backed up with the purpose of the relationship ending in marriage. I love the verse he uses, it’s found in 1 Corinthians 7:32 and says: “I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When your unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life, and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming….holy instruments of God.”

What I really want to write about hinges off of this verse that was just mentioned. First off it says “I want you to live as free of complications as possible,” well that makes sense, if our lives are full of complicated things, then there is no way we can possibly focus on God, and on His plan for us. It seems like it’s pretty easy for our lives to become complicated, especially in the area of relationships. But God wants us to live free of complications so that we may better focus our attention on Him, and if our relationship with out boyfriend or our girlfriend is hindering that, then we need to re-evaluate our reason for being in that relationship. Because what is of God will not take away from our relationship with Him. One of the things that society today tries to cram down our throats from a very young age is the “need” to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. But by looking at this scripture, we can see that this idea is contradictory to God’s word. “When you are unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master.” The world presents singleness to be almost somewhat of a disease, but we see through the Bible that singleness is a gift from God. It allows us the freedom we need to focus on Him, and what it is that He would have us doing in order to better serve Him while we are hear on the earth. We all long for that security that comes with having that boyfriend or that girlfriend, but the truth is, unless we are at that stage in life where we are ready for the commitment of marriage, there really is no point in pursuing a relationship, knowing it will eventually end, and possibly in heartache. By jumping from relationship to relationship before you are ready for the commitment that comes with marriage, you ever so slowly begin to give your heart away, piece by piece, bit by bit, until there is very little left. And no one wants to stand at the altar on his or her wedding day, and have but a fraction of your heart left to give to his or her spouse…even guys will admit to that. God’s gift of singleness is just that, a gift, and during that season in your life God will grant you the grace you need to walk through that time. Am I saying that it will be an easy thing to do? Well if I was, I would be lying to you! I know how hard it can be to see the people around you, your friends, having that relationship you so desire to have. Sometimes it can be especially hard for me because, not only do I have friends that are my age, but I also have friends who are also married, and many of the ones that are married also have children. I know that I am to young, at least in my book, for marriage, and far to young to be having kids, but that doesn’t mean that those desires aren’t there.
The point I just made are again stated in the next few sentences of 1 Corinthians 7:32, “Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life, and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming….holy instruments of God.” The time we have now, as single, unmarried people we can use to better serve God, to become His holy instruments. So be thankful for the time you have now, and use it to build strong, lasting friendships, and to build a strong intimate relationship with the Father Himself. And when the time is right, rest assured that God will bring that special someone into your life.